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SATIRE · ACTUAL UTILITIES · SOURCE-CONTROLLED RECORDS
A deliberately wrecked digital-safety apartment built around source custody, evidence handling, and the value of keeping your own receipts. The satire is a frame. The utilities are real and run inside your browser.
No account. No upload server. No mystery middleman. Files selected for the tools stay in your browser.
TODAY'S AGENDA
LISA RULESPick a tool. Do the thing. Leave fewer breadcrumbs.
Re-encode an image through browser canvas so the exported copy does not carry the original EXIF/IPTC payload.
Load an image, drag over private details, and export the flattened result with the black bars baked into the pixels.
Remove common advertising and social tracking parameters before sharing a URL.
Create a SHA-256 fingerprint for any file and download a plain-text receipt recording the exact bytes.
A joke about custody is still a custody lesson.
“Catch & kill?” is used here as satirical shorthand for a source-handling pattern under examination. It is not presented as a finding that a traditional or criminal catch-and-kill operation occurred.
Audio evidence. Read the labels before drawing conclusions.
A continuation of the warning sequence containing the recorded FBI reference.
Statement evidence only. Independent records control any agency conclusion.Publication-timing material and discussion of sending a link so others could listen and post.
Recorded statement only. Context stays attached.A recording segment discussing minimal text and the phrase “wasn't anything to fact check.”
Hear the source before interpreting the joke.A separate segment discussing a critic and invoking “malicious actors,” including a Troy reference.
Labels are speaker statements, not findings about the people described.Context left attached. Click either drawer to inspect it.
Screenshots preserve displayed content. Hashes preserve file identity. Neither magically proves every statement inside a screenshot.
KEEP THE CONTEXT.THE LAST DOOR
The underlying investigation documented a later reassessment of important Sascha-related claims after Army CID records were sought. The narrower accountability question preserved here is whether severe accusations circulated elsewhere received a comparable indexed public correction and recipient-notification trail.